Hello Everyone and Welcome,

I hope you all are having a great weekend so far, I know I am having a good one relaxing before classes start back up again on Monday.  It’s been nice to be able to enjoy a few days off, but am now ready to buckle down to get the last of my classes done before I graduate.  You know even though this has been a good week it has still has had it’s ups and downs because I am still missing Jim, but I am slowly getting better each day and it’s not as painful as that first day alone.  So now let me tell you why I am so excited this week it is because Sean is back, I am proud to announce that factor not in the physical factor, but in the metaphysical factor and that will have to do.  It has been almost a year since that man has been around in my life through metaphysical reasons.  For those of you who don’t remember who he is please go back way to the beginning of the website and I explain about him in the title of a blog What you need to know about the boys so far.  That is where you can learn about why he is so important to me.  Anyways earlier in the week I had started thinking about him, and then he got pulled into my dream in which we were at a bar somewhere and having a drink and catching up( I don’t know the type of conversation that we had just that we had a drink at a bar).  I woke up thinking cool, but wanted to know more I was like hmm  it peaked my curiosity.  Then all week his energy has been strong around me, which in a way is a good thing I miss him, in a way it’s a bad thing because I can’t get much done.  So with the help of Karolina and Joan I was able to realize that someone said something to him, which reminded him of me and then he has been thinking about me.  So I was like that does make a lot of sense why he would be around then.  So then this led all up to last night where I ended up dreaming about him, and boy did I not want to wake up from this dream.  In the dream I was with Him somewhere I am thinking his apartment or condo in the dream, and we were standing by a window and looking outside wherever it was.  Then all of a sudden I remember walking up besides Him putting my head on his arm, and then taking my hand and slowly sliding it from the top of His arm all the way to his hand; where I stopped and slipped my hand into his and we ended up holding hands like that for a few minutes.  This is where things got steamier because then all of a sudden I remember him starting to go into a kiss and holding me, and then that is where things lead well I am sure you can imagine what happened next.  So then I woke up and was like wow, because that was the first time I have ever had a sex dream with him and it was an amazing experience and one I hope to have again soon.  So as more things unfold between us, and the more I information I find out between us then of course I am going to write about him.  So until next time everyone I hope you all have a happy, loving, and full-filling life take care many blessings.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex

Well Hello and Welcome Everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well this week It has been enjoyable having a few days off to relax a bit before classes start up again, it was a stress-full semester.  I am finally getting to write the blog that I have wanted to write a long time ago.  I have wanted to write this blog over a month ago, but I felt it would be best to leave it to the end of the semester because then I could give full details of it.  So what have I learned about love this year?  A whole heck of a lot if you asked me.  I learned that love is not as easy as it seems, it does take a lot of work to be in a relationship with another person.  I also learned that there are always differences between you and another person, but sometimes you have to work them out in order to stay together.  I also learned that each relationship that you are in brings you lessons that are involved to help  you and also the other person( aka talk about karma) I know my love life was a bit messy at times this year with the love triangle but I felt I learnt a lot from it, and I learned things from each specific person and for Jason I learned how to be a supportive friend from a distance even though we loved each other  with Todd I learned how to be loved and that was a very important lessons, and finally with Jim the main man in this whole story I learned patience is a virtue and sometimes you have to take the lead on things if you ever want them to get accomplished.  I also learned how to help people come out of their shells which is a major plus.  I feel that Jim appreciated everything I did for him and more.  I also learned a lot about myself in the process as well, it was a s good year over all and even though their was a love triangle in the end i have managed to stay friends with each one of the guys and that is a major accomplishment because sometimes unfortunately that doesn’t always happen.  So this is what I had learned about love I know it’s a quickie blog (hehe) but it has a lot of meaning and I hope you guys enjoy it and until next I hope you have a happy, loving, and full-filling, life take care.

With love and Blessings,

Alex

Well Hello and Welcome Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well I am off of school officially and don’t start classes until next week.  So I get a bit of a break and I am enjoying relaxing and catching up on the much needed sleep and what not, and am busy organizing my apartment and I am about to start writing and creating courses as well so stay tuned for that.  I wanted to write this blog on forgiveness because I think it is an important topic to cover and something I just learned recently.  I am going to use a personal life story as you guys may know about me and Todd and how he had hurt me from the past, and I ended up ending things with him.  Well this past weekend on the last weekend of school and when people were moving out here I realized something very important that I needed to do.  I realized I needed to forgive Todd for what he had done to me in the past, because it would be the only way that I could heal and learn to forgive the past.  It happened on Sunday the absolute last day that it could happen, but it was better late then never right ?   I woke up with a dream on Sunday that I had about me and Todd; it had taken place in his room and it seemed to me he was moving out and I noticed the recliner in his room was gone and yes I know the recliner right ha silly question to ask i know it was one of my favorite spots in his room.  Then I remember we were talking and in the dream I remember still liking him and I believe I still had feelings for him.  I realized when I woke up what I needed to do.  So after a little debating back and forth in my head I realized that I needed to talk to him. So I texted him to ask if we could talk later and such when he wasn’t busy.  So he said sure and then later came and we talked and we reached an understanding.  I am glad we were able to reach an understanding and at least remain friends because it would have been silly to loose such a good friend over something so silly.  I mean isn’t it better to forgive and let go of a grudge because you could actually grow closer to the person and develop a tight bond to right?  I would much rather do that then wondering and regretting something I never did in the past that could have been important in my life.  So overall I am glad I did forgive him and we will see where are relationship leads, who knows it could be a great one.  So I hope I have taught someone something from this lesson and until next time everyone I hope you all have a happy, loving, and full-filled life take care.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex

Well Hello and Welcome Everyone,

I hope you all have had a fantastic week, I know mine flew by in a blink of an eye and it was the end of the semester before I knew it.  Do you guys ever wish that you had that week in your life, where you wish that it would slow down because you knew you didn’t want it to end?  I know I am not the only one of those people out their that wish they could re-wind time.  Why is it that the weeks you do not want to go by fast do, and the ones that you want to speed up do.  It kinda feels like one of those unwritten laws of the universe type things, and sometimes it doesn’t seem fair; but all good things have got to come to an end sometimes.  The last few moments that I had with Jim, were some of the best moments that I have ever had and will take with me for the rest of my life.  Our full last day together we had our last lunch date, and even though it was nothing special it was still romantic to me.  We talked about a few different things, and then I came back and got ready for my last final.  Then of course it was show night for me that night, and then He went out with his friends that night which is understandable you have to say goodbye to everyone right.  Well when he came back of course we did our normal things we flirted and talked and wrestled together like always.  Then we got on his bed, and that his where I put my arms around him and basically wouldn’t let go because I didn’t want to because that moment was perfect.  When we finally sat  upright and got into a normal position at the head of the bed, and of course at this time he had his shirt off, and I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest one more time it was the most love filled moment where we connected that I love.  Then he was cute and I was like aww because he put his arm around my arm to hold, and it was the most romantic moment between the two of us.  Then when I went to bed that night I fell asleep with his hat with me because I loved his hat and I held it in my arms for one last time and I almost cried myself to sleep but didn’t that night.  Then when I woke up in the morning He had already started tearing down his room, and packing and seeing him do that almost made it unreal for me because I didn’t want to say goodbye.  During our final time together on that day was interesting because I think we both had a lot more to say to each other then we actually say out loud so we were rather silent on our last day because I don’t think each of us new how to say goodbye properly to one another.  Then when it was time for him to go take his final, it was the final moment of truth were we had to say goodbye.  I knew the moment would come from the beginning of the semester, but I didn’t think it would be here so fast.  When he was ready to walk out that door we said goodbye to one another I basically threw my arms around him, and gave him a big hug.  The rest of the day seem to be a blur to me, and all I could think about was the final goodbye and thankfully I didn’t have a final because I don’t think I would have done very good on that one.  I had work instead after that and at least that was a distraction, and then kept myself occupied for a few hours but when I finally came back and I took a shower that night that is when I lost it, it had been boiling up inside of me all day and I couldn’t hold it back anymore.  and I cried in the shower, and when I had finished the shower I felt a little bit better but I still wasn’t at my best.  It will take some time for me to feel better about the ending of Me and Jim, but I know I will eventually be able to move forward with my life and look back at all the happy memories that I had with Him.  So here it is the last blog on me and Jim ever unless he pops up in a random dream, then I will write it in the blog, but as for real life stories it is the last time you will hear about him.  So I hope you have enjoyed my journey with him and have taught someone something from me writing about us, and until next time everyone I hope you all have a Happy, Loving, and Full-filling life.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex

Me and Jim !!

Well Hello and Welcome Everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well on this Wednesday night, this week seems to be flying by for me at least wow.  I can’t believe that tomorrow is my last final of the semester, and then I will be done with classes until the start of summer classes.  As of right now, how do I feel about the semester ending, well to be honest with you right now I feel like a complete emotional basket case hence why I am writing because it helps me to sort out my own feelings 100% of the time.  What do I mean by that, well one minute I am completely happy and in a good mood, and then next minute I feel like sobbing my eyes out.  I knew from the beginning of the semester that would happen to me.  One reason being is because I do not deal with change well,  Change of environment I can do really well; but as of people wise no I do not like having to say goodbye to a certain individuals that have changed my life dramatically over the course of this past year.  Who might you ask is the reason behind this blog, well funny  you should mention that…  Their is this guy named Jim who has been my roommate for the past 2 years now that I have been completely in love with for the past year now mhm that would be the guy (Lol) I know it’s that dry sense of humor that I have sometimes mixed with my sarcastic humor that I like to add every once in awhile.  This past week with him has been great so far, and I have been enjoying every single moment with him and spending as much time as possible with him.  Lately though since the week is drawing to a close already every time I am around him I am happy, but I am already tearing up on the inside because I do not want to say goodbye.  So ha has been my emotional turmoil this week.  Good things have happened between us too where to begin.  1. On Monday I got to meet Jim’s mom, which was super fun because she is a really nice mom; and one that was curious about me.  I could tell from her eyes that she knew that their was more going on then meet’s the eye with me and her son then Jim would let on almost that mother’s intuition type of thing.  Plus Me and Jim, never acted differently then we normally do which is why people assume we are together.

2.  On Monday night me and Jim also talked about Sex together, and it was interesting because I was the one that brought that subject on, and you know it was not even that hard to do.  We discussed sex and how some guys need to have sex all the time, and how it’s the number one priority, and while others don’t think of it that way.  We also discussed how we used to be like that, but now we are changed.  Then in a weird round about type of way, we discussed ourselves without mentioning ourselves because I believed that it was most comfortable for us to do it that way, because when we talked about ourselves with sex, Jim actually mentioned that he was scared to try anything.  Which for him was a major stepping stone because that is a major milestone for anybody and I am proud of him for admitting that because now I know that he really wants to have sex with me, but is really scared to do it.  So I can walk away with the satisfaction of knowing that if we don’t connect intimately then he really wanted to, but was just scared to do it.  That is all I wanted for him, and I am so happy to know that I helped him come out of his shell and actually admit the truth it took a year, but it is better late then never.  This week the connection between him and I has been so strong it’s unbelievable because I believe that we are both at the point of what do we got to loose.  This would make sense of what happened last night.

3.  Monday  night it was an interesting time with me and Jim because him and I seemed to be role playing with each other, at this I was like hell why not ha we came this far so role play why not.  I was acting like a child with him, because I was like oh we need to play ‘halo’ not technically what I wanted to play at the moment but you get the picture.  I really wanted to play so I was like you should play with me at this point in time he was doing his nightly routine of checking his phone before bed and his regular email that he get’s daily from work and he was being lazy.  So I kept being all like I want to play with you, and it will be fun.  He was like no you can play by yourself and I will watch, and Then I was like no was like no its more fun playing with you.  He was like why am I more fun, and I was like you are a fun person. Then when he was really being stubborn I was like Daddy you should play with me.  Of course he got all this but was being stubborn because he was lazy and made up his mind; but it was fun none the less.

So we will see where the rest of the week takes us, and I am curious as to how it will pan out, and where our relationship will take us since he is graduating on Sunday.  I know when I say goodbye to him, I will be an emotinal wreck but I already knew that but it will be difficult because I have to keep myself composed for work that day as well.  At the end of that day I will have to crawl up on my bed, and watch some Gay Romance movies and ball my eyes out to make myself feel better.  I will on friday finally write the blog that you all have been waiting a month on, but shh it will be a surprise as to what I am writing so stay tuned and see what the week unfolds for me and Jim.  Until next time I hope you all have a happy loving, and full-filling life. Take care.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex

Well Hello and Welcome Everyone,

I Hope you all are doing well and had a fabulously nice weekend with the warm weather especially for those of you that are in Ohio.  I am heading into finals week here so wish me luck on all of my finals I hope I do well on them.  So the last time we talked, I had mentioned about a dream that I had with Jim on Friday and how it was an interesting dream.  After thinking about it, talking about it with my lovely co-host Joan Clancy and pulling some cards on it I got the clarity and confirmation of what exactly it was talking about especially after you look at all the outer layers in the dream involved.  First off let me tell you about the cards I pulled.  I pulled cards from the Angels Dream Deck by: Doreen virtue and Melissa Virtue, which is an absolutely fabulous deck for helping to interrupt your dreams.  Actually they are presenting a class on this on Hay House that covers material over 4 weeks.  I am going to be signing up for this course because I find dreams fascinating to learn about, and I think it will a fabulous start to learning more about dreams especially with the dream gift that I have.  So back to the cards that I pulled; I pulled the New/ Waxing Moon ( conception, inner-self, expansion)  

The Second Card is the Dragon Fly ( Transformation, Magic, and illusion)

The last Card The Bathroom Card) Cleanse/ Clarify

The last two images are not from the deck, but they give you the general idea of what they represent for the card meaning.  Now When I take a closer look at the dream and combine it with the Oracle Card Reading that I did I received the answer that I was looking for.  The answer that I got to the meaning of the dream was the fact that it was his dream because I certainly did not dream this dream, was that from the confusion he felt in not knowing how to order at Taco Bell is that He is not sure exactly how to ask for what he wants to get in real life, mainly because he has never done it before; this is also leads to a mis- communication on both of our parts of we talk about this situation and how to move forward from here.  So this leads me to believe that he is thinking about what to do with this situation and how to move forward from here.  Now let us take a look at each of the cards individually shall we ?  The first card is the New/Waxing Moon, which tells me that it is a beginning of a new phase in both of our lives at the present moment and he is really looking at his inner- self to think about how to move forward in this situation.  The next card following the Dragon Fly which to me symbolizes transformation and rebirth.  It almost also gives me the sense of acceptance and releasing the past and starting life over again as a new person.  Finally The last card, which in this case is the bathroom card and this symbolizes to me the word clarify meaning that once he figures out the solution to his problem then he will get the guidance that he needs to move forward in this new phase of his life.  So there we have it I hope this helps him in the long run to figure things out.  I hope you have enjoyed this post and I hope you have a great week ahead, I am looking forward to what this week brings so until next time I hope you have a happy, loving, and full-filling life take care.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex

Hello Everyone and Welcome,

I hope everyone is doing well on this friday night I am doing great I had an awesome time tonight at the end of the year celebration that they hold at my college every year called springfest with food, games, prizes, fireworks, and a live band.  The band that they brought to us this year is none other then OWL CITY it was a fun show, especially since I got to see it for free even better.  So I wanted to write about a quick dream that I had with Jim the other night, it was an interesting dream and I was like that was weird when I woke up from it last night.  The dream that I had with him was we had gone to Taco Bell, which is normal for us on Monday nights but it wasn’t the normal Taco Bell that everyone is use to this one is different.  It was different for the fact that they had a different menu then they do now, and that they had a cafeteria in it instead of a regular resturant style seating.  Then when we were going to order Jim got all confused in the dream about how to order and couldn’t figure it out.  So when I woke up from the dream I was confused on how why I had the dream to begin with it seemed out of the ordinary for me to have, and don’t get me wrong I love dreaming about this man but it just seemed odd, further details as they become more available to me.  So until next time I hope you all have a Happy, Loving, and Full-filling life take care.

With Love and Blessings,

Alex